Testimonies

Here is a place for you to tell your story. It doesnt have to be spectacular..just be real.

4 thoughts on “Testimonies”

  2. When I was 22 and in college I received powerful and vivid hallucinations after smoking marijuana for the first few times. They impacted me so profoundly that I told myself that this had to be from God. I was so moved by these experiences that I felt a calling to begin supplementing psychedelics with meditation and various forms of self-introspection while still praying to God for guidance on these personal endeavors and listening to people like Terrance McKenna, Timothy Leary and others tickle my ears with what I now recognize as being New Age propaganda. Little did I know I was giving myself over so that Satan could cast a spell over me

    As I dabbled further into these occult practices, they eventually manifested themselves into something physical. There were several instances while I was sleeping at I was physically lifted from my bed at night, waking me up partially. There were times when I would go to bed that I would be stricken with such an intense and paralyzing fear it felt as if a demon were hover over me. It was only after these horrifying experiences that i did as it is suggested in Matthew 6:6 “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”That was the first time I bent my knee to the Lord Jesus Christ, but not the last time I would be harassed by the demonic world.

    It’s hard to extricate yourself from the vice of Satan, especially if you’ve allowed him to embed that hook deep into your mind and soul for a long period of time. I would strongly urge anyone who thinks that they can gain any form of spiritual enlightenment or whatever you want to call it in any way other than through Jesus Christ to turn from their deception. It is clever lie and it must be repented of, lest you incur the wrath of the lamb. Our time is short.

    Matthew 4:17 “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

  4. I thought I would just go ahead and just let it all out. It all started back in the day when I was in high school. I was heavily into drugs, occult literature and, of course, some pretty evil music. I was always an artist and so everything just progressed by itself it feels like. My father died when I was 16 and I was peaking on acid when it happened. I was doing alot of messing with dark things and just leaped in full speed after that.

    Fast forward a couple years and further down the spiral. I came to a point late one night where I had been listening to a CD on a disk-man and stumbled into something in the music (something to do with sequenced audio messages when you held the forward button) and it triggered something that felt quite irreversible at the time. I asked my friend who was with me to go home and I said that I was tired. I could barely string words together as my mind was in a state of complete breakdown. I was going to end it all after he’d left. I felt like it wasn’t a choice, it was more like something I had to do or else something worse than I could imagine was going to happen.

    As I was preparing myself to do the deed the phone rang and it was my Mom. She lived 250 km …about a 4hr drive from where I was currently living. She was a 5 minute drive away visiting my aunt. You have to understand that since my parents had divorced and I had moved, she never ONCE set foot in that city in 4 or 5 years. Yet there she was… exactly when I was about to kill myself.

    I remember on the taxi trip over hearing things in the radio signal. Something about failing to meet requirements to be excepted into some collective. I can’t remember the words exactly, but it had something to do with the “worse than I could possibly imagine” thing that would happen if I didn’t kill myself I stated earlier.

    I remember crying alot in my mothers arms (I was 19) and out of nowhere saying “I feel so far from Jesus”. That moment is very clear in my mind even now. That night I was driven back to where my Mom lived. Utterly and completely exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically I slept the whole trip and it seemed like a blink and I was in a new town.

    A couple years later I was looking for Christian music and met up with a priest at a Catholic church in town as a result. After talking and explaining my life to him he invited me to take some sort of personality analysis test which lead to regular sessions with him. I jumped at the chance as I was desperately seeking some sort of connection with God ever since what had happened to me. We did lots of talking over a few weeks and over time he became something tangible I associated with God. Between this strange desperate way I started to take everything without question and my mental and emotional state at the time our relationship had soon become something perverted and deformed. I will only say that his help and guidance was very Freudian in nature in such a way as to seem very convenient for a homosexual sex addict. This same man directed me to perhaps try a monastic experience at a monastery in a close by town.

    It was here that I had an experience with sleep paralysis. I had some strange dreams before as you could imagine, but not like this… this was not a dream. I was in the novice section of the monastery and it was after lunch. The practice there was to have a siesta after the meal… to pray, sleep, walk around the forrest or whatever. As I was often very tired I usually chose to get some sleep. I was awakened by a presence in the room with me. It was to my right, perched on my desk. I could not turn my head or even move my eyes. I could only make out his forearms and that hands clasped together and resting on his knees and could make out that he was indeed perched on my desk. It’s skin was a dark kind of olive green and it was very big… if it where standing I would say well over 6 feet and very muscular. All conversation was in the form of thoughts as I could not speak and I asked if he was an angel. He was very sarcastic in how he responded “No… would you like me to get you one?”

    I felt terrified and immediately began to pray the recited prayers that all Catholics would be prone to recite in that situation. He mocked me through the whole thing and said that I would “have to do better than that”. I had a feeling sort of transmitted to me that it was hopeless and that it was to late, that it was already over for me. A tactic I have learned is often used by them. This continued until I finally just yelled with every ounce of my being (thats the best I could describe it) the name of Jesus in Hebrew that I had learned a few days earlier “Yeshua ha mashiach” …after which he very abruptly and with much vulgarity fled in a terror that was worse than the one I had been subjected to.

    I didn’t awake right away physically, I remember feeling really heavy and dragging myself across the floor towards the door to leave the room but it was like my body was asleep… like how your leg falls asleep when the circulation is cut off and it’s all numb. Then I was suddenly on my back and in my bed again and “woke up”. It was sunny outside and I could hear birds singing outside my window. I could never put into words how I felt just then. My world has never been the same since.

    Thank you for having a place to put this. Thank you Chris. God bless.

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